The World Wasn’t Always This Fat Phobic

Most of us are potential victims of ‘body shaming’ – the widespread phenomenon of receiving cruel feedback when our bodies don’t meet the unrealistic beauty standards of our time. We spend our time lost in self-critical thoughts, despising our body and comparing ourselves unfavourably to others.

In a survey of adolescents in grades 9 to 12, more than 59% of females and 29% of males were trying to ‘lose weight’. Over 18% of girls and 8% of boys had, in the last 30 days, gone without food for 24 hours or more – just to lose weight. 95% of people with eating disorders fall between the ages of 12 and 25. There are various reasons why people of my age are targeted, including: we’re too young to realise what’s ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ for our health; we’re so easily influenced by celebrities and the media; we overthink about other people’s judgements about us and many of us don’t even understand what’s incorrect in saying, “You aren’t fat, you’re beautiful.” This illustration has been inspired by one of the campaigns against body shaming – ‘Bodies aren’t ugly. Bullying is.’

Let us make each other realise that fat, tall, short, or thin are not insults but just characteristics. A number on the weighing machine cannot determine our worth. Losing weight is not our life’s work and counting calories is not the call of our soul.

Social Media is an astonishing platform to connect with people world-wide. We can widely share experiences and opinions and express ideas. But! It do have a dark side too for “body image”, which demands a mindful approach to counteract.

Most of us are prone to “body shaming” on social media platform, which is a wide-spread phenomenon of receiving cruel feedback when our bodies don’t match the unrealistic beauty standards set by the society in today’s time. Social media significantly continue to play a crucial role in molding the lives of adolescents, girls and young women. It negatively affects the body image and reinforces the fallacious beliefs of “how we need to look”, that we as an individual must predominantly validate and perpetuate upon.

Social media platform not only exposes young girls to certain beauty standards and but also propel them for following the cultural ideals of womenhood or perfect womanism. But emerging research is an evidence of such social networking behavior is contributing to the raise of “body dysmorphic disorders BDD” and “eating disorders” in females as well as males. No doubt, the internalisation of body shaming and weight bias in social media platform hangs heavy on the minds of teenagers, womens and young girls and they are now living in a society where their bodies defines who they are. People who deal with body shaming or who have a body image concerns feel distressed and unhappy about their physical appearances, weight or shape. They may be concern about being too fat, too large or small, not curvy enough, or not muscular enough. Body dissatisfaction distress can lead to plethora of psychological as well as physical problems.

Studies have reported rates of BDD of 7% and 15% in patients approaching cosmetic surgery to enhance their physical appearance and a rate of 12% in patients seeking dermatologic treatment to contour and abolish the aspects of body shaming.

Feeling ashamed of how we look has become normal. Hardly any of us think we make the beauty grade. We might even think there is something odd with someone who is perfectly happy with how they look.

For some, this anxiety is low level and periodic—a bad hair day once in a while, or a fleeting thought that we wish we could lose a few pounds when we glance in the mirror. For others it is overwhelming and almost constant, a deep shame which stops us from doing all kinds of things. In the Girls’ Attitudes Survey 2016 conducted by Girl Guiding UK, “47 percent of girls aged 11-21 say the way they look holds them back.” This is nearly half of young women who are willing to admit that how they look limits what they can do.

The list of where we fail and what we feel ashamed of is almost endless. It is hard to find a body part which can’t be thought of as failing, and flaws—perceived flaws—can be found in every body. No matter how much you might fit the ideal, flaws can be found. Selena Gomez, who was once the most followed person on Instagram, recently spoke out about how she was body-shamed over her fluctuating weight. 

Ashamed of being too fat or too thin. Ashamed of our muffin tops, bingo wings, love handles, pancake chests, or flat bums. Ashamed of our bumpy, big, fat, and pointy noses. Ashamed of our armpit hair, leg fuzz, and bikini line. Ashamed of our cellulite, large pores, wrinkles, freckles, birthmarks, age spots, or pimples. 

As appearance matters more in a visual and virtual culture and our bodies become ourselves — and this is one of my main claims in Perfect Me — then the shame that attaches to body failure is going to increase. This shame is exacerbated and compounded by practices of body shaming.

Body shaming is ubiquitous; it's part of our routine and everyday experience. Negative comments about appearance constantly happen to those in the public eye. How often does a celebrity get asked about the work they’ve had done? Or shamed for some aspect of their appearance. It’s a news story if a celeb shows body hair on a catwalk or, heaven forbid, shows an extra roll of fat or wobbly thigh. 

And it’s not just those who are in the beauty business who get called on this. Remember the furor over whether or not Mary Beard was too ugly for television? If a Professor of Classics can be body shamed—and there can be discussions in broadsheets about whether she is too ugly for television—then appearance matters in a visual culture. What possible difference could meeting the appearance grade make to whether Mary Beard is an effective Professor of Classics? Surely it is her knowledge and ability to communicate that matters? But in our visual culture, the demands of beauty apply to all of us, and in selfie culture, all the time.

We all have to be camera-ready—ready to post our happy families, fun friends, and great colleagues. If we don’t get it right, we are fair game. Deserving of the snide comment, the snigger, or the trolling.

But why? Why do we think it’s OK to say negative things about appearance? We don’t think it’s OK to make very many types of negative comments, so what makes comments about appearance acceptable? It is hard to understand why we don’t call out comments which make people ashamed of themselves. We call out other negative comments—why don’t we call out these? 

One possible explanation of why we put up with these comments is that we have not yet named body shaming for the wrongful and discriminatory practice it is. We know we are hurt, and we know we are uncomfortable, but we find it hard to say why. There are a number of reasons for this; sometimes we are told it’s a bit of fun, but it doesn’t feel like fun. 

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”

                                                                                                  Divisha Bhardwaj